Bridget Jones Diary: I Choose Vodka (Shots)
Give the schmaltzy sentimentality of the holiday season a middle finger with your favorite wanton sex goddess at your side, Bridget Jones. Grab a complimentary shot of Absolut Vodka and toast to the grimness and glory of being a single gal at Christmastime. Hardcore drinking, vulgar mothers and verbal diarrhea are welcome.
Kamasi Washington + The Budos Band
Saxophonist and bandleader Washington reinvigorated contemporary jazz and garnered lots of mainstream critical attention with his ambitious 2015 debut, The Epic. All the accolades are well deserved: His live shows are always gorgeously orchestrated, blissfully soulful affairs
Halyard’s brings you jokes from a bunch of very funny ladies at this free weekly show with hosts Naomi Karavani, Melissa Stokoski, Shelby Taylor and Erica Spera and live music. Plenty of brews, bar snacks and a pool table await you.
Rock ‘n’ Roast: Broadway Edition
Hannah Cowger and Rosa Escandón host this tuneful comedy show where comedians compete to win a crown and belt. They’ll face intense—and hilarious—scrutiny, but the winner gets the last laugh: he or she gets to pick a judge to perform a song of their choosing. Justin Flanagan, Alex Ptak and Jennie Sutton pass judgement, while Mo Fathelbab, Ronnie Fleming, Alison Klemp, Maurice Licorish, Chrissie Mayr, Alan Starzinski and Maria Wojciechowski do their best to impress.
RECOMMENDED: New Year’s Eve 2017 NYC guide
New Year’s Eve at Times Square
Since 1907, a sparkly sphere has been lowered in Times Square, and even though the rest of the country has adopted the tradition, New York can still lay claim to it. Arrive by 3pm (earlier if the weather is nice) to stake out a spot in the Broadway–Seventh Avenue bowtie, and be prepared to stay put: There are no public restrooms or food vendors, and leaving means giving up your spot. It may sound like no fun, but this is really the best kind of holiday masochism, and your endurance will be rewarded with performances held across two stages, beginning at 6pm.
Annaleigh Ashford: New Year’s Magic
Don your most decadent 1970s Studio 54 look and take a seat for a cabaret party for the ages. Sylvia and Kinky Boots star Annaleigh Ashford—one of the brightest comic talents to hit Broadway in ages—will command the house with her band the Whiskey 5, while guests indulge in three marvelous courses and champagne. After the show, the tables will be rolled off and 54 Below will return to its disco-dancing club roots for a late night of glam revelry.
Brooklyn Bridge Walk into the New Year
Guides trained by historian and tour leader Dr. Phil (not that one) organize multiple groups to take in the New Year from the iconic landmark. After tidbits about the bridge are revealed, all the tours will pause to scan the skyline for midnight fireworks. To book tickets visit the website. Multiple tours depart at 10:15pm; $60, children $30.
Kwanzaa Celebration: Regeneration Night
For its 10th annual Kwanzaa celebration, the Apollo Theater goes all out for two jam-packed shows. Catch contemporary ballet that celebrates the principles of Kwanzaa from Abdel Salaam’s Forces of Nature Dance Theatre, and enjoy comedy from radio host Imhotep Gary Byrd, all held in one of the bastions of the city’s Black culture.
The Sons & Heirs: A Tribute to the Smiths and Morrissey
Holy tribute-band trifecta, Batman. This stacked lineup features acclaimed Morrissey and the Smiths tribute band the Sons & Heirs—an outfit so respected that Morrissey’s long-time drummer Spencer Cobrin and the Smiths member Andy Rourke have both performed with it in the past—Depeche Mode aficionados Masters and Servants and R.E.M. emulators Dead Letter Office. Count on these pros to play both hit singles and deep album cuts, and pull on all of your heartstrings.
Purple Rain Dance Party
The Artist Formally known as Prince may have left the physical plane behind this year, but his music and influence will live on in 2017 and beyond. Throw on your three-eyed glasses and velour trenchcoat and get ready to dance the night away at this tribute, which will project 1984’s Purple Rain on the wall while you get down to classics like “Raspberry Beret” and “Cream.”
43rd Annual Poetry Project Marathon
Chances are your attention will be shorter than normal today, which is just fine: This 43th anniversary of the 12-hour literary soiree features bite-size readings and performances by around 150 poets, dancers and musicians.
Coney Island Polar Bear Club New Year’s Day Swim
Would you believe us if we told you a dip in the Atlantic is great for a hangover? Even if you don’t buy it, cheering those brave—or crazy—enough to take the plunge will stir you from your stupor. The Coney Island Polar Bear Club’s annual New Year’s Day Swim invites hundreds of swimmers (without the benefit of blubber, underfur or guard hairs) to venture out into the ocean. All that’s required to take part in this brisk tradition are warm clothes, sneakers you don’t mind ruining (or surf boots, if you’ve got them) and the fortitude to actually go through with it. Membership is not required, but if you’re planning on taking the plunge, help the organization raise funds for Camp Sunshine, a charity that supports children (and their families) who have life-threatening illnesses. Meet on the Boardwalk at Stillwell Ave, Coney Island, Brooklyn. Suggested donation $40.
New Year’s Day at House of Yes
If your New Year’s resolution is to focus on self-care, take a tropical vacay in Bushwick! (Yes, really.) Let The dance music, free massages, detox elixirs and the steamy hot tub at this all-day bash rejuvenate your soul.
Sunrise New Year’s Day Party
Fellas, say good morning to 2017 by getting down and grinding through the pains of last year with tunes provided by DJs Ben Baker and Mauro Mozart.
Annual Lord of the Rings Marathon
Bring a sword, a bow, an ax and a hangover to this daylong fan viewing, at which Videology screens all three extended editions of the legendary Middle-earth trilogy. With a total 726 minutes (that’s 12 hours) of screen time to watch, there’s no braver way for you to start your New Year than by surviving this saga. Just try to pace yourself: Not everyone can hold their liquor as gracefully as Legolas does. Rohirrim!